All of us struggle to communicate. We all have things about our personality that make it difficult to engage at times. Here at Alpas, we desire for everyone to have confidence to communicate their needs and respond to the needs of others. Here are 3 simple tips to improve communication.
1. Using "I feel...when you..." statements. This type of statement allows for you to take ownership of your feeling without putting undue pressure on the receiving participant. Pattern "I feel....when you..."
Example: Your spouse is visibly upset by something that has happened, but is not engaging in conversation.
You: "I feel helpless when you do not share what is bothering you." "If you need more time before you talk, can you please verbalize that to me?"
2. Use mirroring. What does this look like?
Mirroring is a technique in which you mirror the posture of the person you are attempting to communicate with...for example, if the other person begins to move back from you, then you adjust your positioning to create space as well. What this does not mean-do not copy every movement of the person you are talking to. Remember, the purpose of mirroring is to create a safety in conversation.
3. Reflect. What does this look like?
Reflection is sharing a short synopsis of what was shared so that the other party feels heard. In order to do this, you have to listen...easy enough right? Not so much, as many of us tend to have difficulty really focusing solely on what the other person is saying instead of what we are saying next.
For example:
Other person: I am really struggling to stay on top of everything with work and school. No matter what I do I do not feel that it is enough. I am so discouraged.
Reflection response: You're feeling overwhelmed and discouraged by everything that you have going on right now? I am sorry, I am sure that is very difficult.
Hopefully these 3 tips have been helpful for you! If you are looking to further improve your communication techniques please reach out to Alpas today! We would love to help you.
Until next time, be blessed.